Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Following a recent comment i have decided to pursue some political stories for electricnerve. Like all good political journalists i start my research in the first available bar, the Hula Bula bar in the Perth CBD.

Here i find Jude of Bankwest wearing the late Mobutu Sese Soko's leopard-skin toque. It seems all Jude wants for her birthday is complete dominion over the Republic of Congo. I will vote for you, i say. You don't vote for dictators, she explains. I discover more about politics every day. I go to the bar to get a Shrunken Head.

After one Shrunken Head i feel ready to dance on the tables. After two, I elect myself Head of PR for Jude's campaign to become Dictator of the Democratic Republic of Zaire. Congo sounds too percussive, i point out. We drink and plot and drink some more. I devise a plan to meet and interview Alan, the Honourable Premier of Western Australia. I get on the mobile to his people and arrange an appointment for Tuesday at his headquarters in Governor Stirling Tower. I need to think of a few questions now. What are the real issues? Secession, i'm thinking. Western Australia has a long history of plotting to secede from the rest of the country. Just look at Prince Leonard and the Hutt River Province. Does Alan have any plans to become the first President of the Democratic Republic of Western Australia? The other question: what about the water issue? Is President Alan going to take any measures against Asian caf├ęs that try to make Italian-style coffee? This is quite obviously a waste of perfectly good water. I take out my well-worn notebook and write. I shall not be afraid to ask the tough questions.

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