Sunday, November 23, 2008


Breakfast, on that morning when the rest of your life stretches before you like an empty highway.

An egg
Parsley, if you like
Sourdough bread

If you have bacon, start frying it while you boil some water. Get some asparagus spears and chuck them onto a lightly-oiled griddle and scorch the bastards. Once the water is boiled, put a slice of sourdough bread into the toaster. That toaster is your egg timer.

You are cooking breakfast. What used to be Miss Polly's favourite breakfast. The one you used to share on those bright mornings when she would go off after breakfast to work as a coffee girl, and you would go to the newspaper to kick journalists around the news room... ah, those were the days, that week before last... but save the salty tears for later when you let them drip sadly onto your poached egg as you eat it on your lonesome. But if you can't hold them in, let them pour like a sudden Albany cloudburst into the boiling pot. Add some vinegar. Its sourness and acidity will keep the egg in one piece. Take note of this, because you may need to use your acerbic, cynical humour later in the day in a similar fashion. Deadline is no time to be going to pieces.

Take a locally-laid egg, and crack it one-handedly into the turbulent water, using your other hand to wipe away your tears. When the toast pops, drizzle some olive oil, followed by a strip of bacon. Then lay the asparagus spears down like the weapons of defeated warriors. Lift out the egg with a suitable implement, draining off the water, and lay it on top. If you like, you can garnish with parsley, torn up like your ever loving soul.

Serves one.


Kez said...

I hate reading cookbooks and recipes but yours are amusing, interesting and they are all delicious sounding!
Except I would leave out the asparagus. Ugh.

ramsnake said...

Is Miss Polly known as Penny in the real world? If so tell her Thomo said G'day and that Amba is going really well!

Mark Roy said...

Miss Polly is a many-faceted creature... i'll certainly pass on the message if i ever see her again...

Mark Roy said...

Hey Kez, i agree, i hate reading recipes as well.

HANDY HINT: substitute spinach leaves for asparagus.

ha ha

sarah toa said...

I don't think this sounds delicious! I think it sounds like the saddest breakfast I ever had. I can't remember which one or when or why...