PERVERSE PERSEVERENCE

It's not easy being the Art Director. Let's face it. There are always those who would disagree, challenge my direction - always arguments and breakups over "artistic differences." But Safari Bob is a rock. And Mayhem rocks. So i persevere regardless. Someone has to grab the wheel and steer a path through all this rocky creative madness. I am a great believer in the philosophy of Dogtown skater Bob Biniak. Biniak said, "You draw your line and you stick to it." I read this gem in a skate magazine circa 1978, and it has been with me ever since. Biniak was talking specifically about pool riding, but i believe it has a much deeper meaning and is generally applicable to a far wider ambit than the empty motel pool. My current philosophy?

• stick to your guns
• give a wham, give a bam, but don't give a damn
• draw your line and stick to it
• use bullets wherever possible

This philosophy has gotten me far in life. I mean, here i am, staring at Knobby Head. The truck is a little worse for wear and Safari Bob and i are still yet to catch our bucket of fish, but, despite suffering Ukelele Exhaustion Syndrome at the salt lakes, we have persevered. We will make it to the Gascoyne River delta, come hell's bells or bongwater.
At Knobby head we find some free unauthorised accomodation. A 1960s fisherman's caravan with 1990s paint. Renovator's delight. Coastal location and breathtaking views, if you are a fan of melaleuca. But neither Safari Bob nor i feel comfortable about sleeping the night in a place called Knobby Head. We suddenly realise Knobby Head is full of seamen. We inch our way carefully out of this remote fishing village, our backs to the wall. Next stop, Kalbarri.
I have a good feeling about Kalbarri.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, or Hotel D'Pravity as it is affectionately known, Mayhem has her hands full dealing with a lone ranger. "I got the council ranger trying to catch me because of the New Year's party," Mayhem says. "The Town of Vincent is empowered to impound any unlicensed party animals that leave themselves or other rubbish lying on the verge." The massive outdoor event at D'Pravity, combined with the tendency of her neighbours to drop assorted household wreckage on her verge, have somehow conspired to inspire the ire of the ranger.
But while one hand slaps, the other beckons. While the Town of Vincent is busily chasing Mayhem around North Perth even as we speak, it is also busily putting on a series of Summer Concerts in the Park, featuring Mayhem as the co-star in a movie and a special guest at precisely one of these concerts! You'd think they would put two and two together, and send the man with the net down to the park to catch her but no - bureaucracies will never ever be that smart.
The Maestro, a short film by Melinda Tupling and Mark Roy, premieres at Banks Reserve, Joel Terrace, Mount Lawley. The multimedia spectacular kicks off at 6pm, Sunday January 21. Cool band Huxley will pepper your peperoni before the film project screens, and Australian classic The Dish (obviously named in honour of Mayhem) screens shortly thereafter. As you are no doubt well aware, our short documentary is about a Sicilian mechanic, and i understand Mayhem will be arriving with the full red carpet treatment. Keep a look out for her. "I'll be the chick rocking up in a white cadillac with the mafia and enough champagne to relieve the droughts of Africa," Mayhem says.
So, god damn it, grab a picnic, a flute, and and head on down! What's a movie without a picnic? It's simply Un Australian!