RUNAWAY BRIDE

Mayhem has defected to MySpace, leaving just this cryptic photograph ... what can it mean? Don't know what her MySpace URL is, but i'm sure if you go there and type in "Mistress of Mayhem 666" you will uncover a dark world populated by Mayhem, Melody and her other cyberspace "friends" such as Chopper Reid and Charles Manson, and girls with names just too weird to mention in polite company. Goodness gracious. I can't search for the Mayhem URL because i'm on a Mac in the Western Independent newsroom at Curtin University, equipped with Websense which blocks my every move on the web. So much for freedom of association.


Mayhem is currently going berserk in her new job as a Personal Assistant. From what can I gather from her sporadic communications from the seething cappucino vortex that is Subiaco, she is working for a promoter who used to do Smash-Up Derbies in large stadia, who has recently discovered the joys of classical piano, and consequently changed tack to bring to us in sleepy Perth the one and only, the champion of shopping mall music, yes, that's right, Mr Richard Clayderman, straight from the tanning salon to the Burswood Casino, complete with backing from the Fremantle Symphony Orchestra. How Mayhem fits into this operation is anyone's guess.

Appearing alongside the pearly white teeth of Mr Clayderman will be Bosnian-born classical guitar player Milica Ilic. (Faithful readers please note, this is NOT my ex-wife Milica Lilic.) Ilic will be accompanied by Desert Child, whatever that means.

Meanwhile yours truly Mark Roy, the art director, is off on assignment to Bangkok to see what's cooking with the military coup in the kingdom of Thailand. And perhaps to catch up with the elegant Hai An, last seen at the Alice Springs Beanie Festival, for a cup of iced coffee by the pool at the Raumchitt Plaza Hotel.