"We also have anecdotal evidence of people renting garden sheds." Garden sheds? A garden shed would be luxury. I text Sarah Toa to tell her that i am on the front page of the Newspaper.
She texts me back. "I never knew you looked so good in an Eagles jumper." I assume this is just her trying to be funny. The journalist who wrote the story comes over to my desk. "Have you seen our website?" she says. I shake my head. "No, why? You haven't put a picture of me up there? I'm supposed to be the invisible homeless." She shakes her head. "No," she laughs. "But when you see the picture they've used, you might wish i had."
Over a pizza, i explain to Dylan how i asked our esteemed journalist to remove a couple of quotes about how i was forced to wash and shave in public toilets during my three-month sojourn living in a storage unit. She removed one of them, but left the other.
"It was in the copy twice," i tell him, taking a big gulp of red wine. "Two separate mentions of me habituating public toilets. She made me sound like i was some kind of pervert."
Dylan laughs. "I like that. You are fussy about which bits of copy you will allow to make you look like a total loser. 'Oh, sure, you can write a front page story and make me look like a total loser. Just don't make me look like a degenerate total loser.' Ha. You idiot."
I munch our alleged Mexican pizza in silence. Since when were Mexicans so big on bacon and peperoni, anyway?