AUSTRALIAN RULES

I never really got the hang of Australian Rules Football. Of course, i played it at school. One was forced to.

But i lacked that competitive spirit. I used to play the forward pocket, and would spend most of the game engaging my opponent in conversation. What's it like at your school. Are all your teachers dipsticks. How many times have you got the cuts from the principal. Oh, is that all. Does he do it across your hands, or across the back of your legs. He is a she? Really? Far out Brussel sprout.

So when the ball did occasionally bounce past, i scarcely noticed. At regular intervals throughout the game, we would stop, and a teacher would bring us a cool drink and oranges cut into four. For a long while i thought this was what was meant by "Quarter Time". Time for quarters of orange.

As a child i was pleased to see on the TV that even the burly VFL players took time out from their hectic game to share some pieces of orange.